I wish I could have known what a metaphor for life Goldilocks is the first time I heard it. As a wee babe I probably thought it was about getting things right, or porridge. I definitely remember thinking Goldilocks was a real piece of work. It’s possible I was completely distracted by the idea of happening upon a home that bears lived in I checked out distracted by longing for my own bear friends to terrorize. I do know that my reaction to never wanting to be a Goldilocks wasn’t totally the right note to file away.
A truth of life is to stand a chance at peace, we have to be able to stay with the discomfort of choosing ourselves over others. That to keep our own happiness in tact there is no secret third answer we must choose to say yes to ourselves and no to another. We have to be the Goldilocks, we have to be in service of our own needs.
This fact is so unspeakably rude.
Sometimes I think I’m prone to self abandonment purely because monotony wears me down. I want the excitement that comes from turning down my own noise and turning someone else’s up. Doesn’t work all that well. It’s a temporary fix that ultimately breeds tension and anxiety. Even if my brain doesn’t get what’s happening my spirit does.
Maybe life is shouting forget the bears, forget the entitled child, forget the porridge, stay with you!
xx. A
What I’m thinking on:
Zeba Blay mentioned the Birdcage in her very very good substack, and linked to this YouTube doc on the film, history of the story, very good.
I told Vanessa after I saw this that I think what the world needs right now is a talent competition. We all come together to recreate an iconic scene from something. Saudi Arabia wins best The Office fire drill scene obvs.
Loved this interview with Peter Matthiessen
How to follow your gut more and project the future less
As someone who feels a lot of mixed emotions this felt validating
I love the Doughboys and I’ve been revisiting some episodes and this one and this one made me laugh aloud.
Mentioned in the episode but worth linking here:
Dear Chelsea episode with Lori Gottlieb
Melissa Febos Abandon Me, (I mean do I need to link her at this point? I promise I will move on eventually to a new all roads lead back to person)
Mari's Newsletter also mentioned in the pod and def worth subscribing to
National Alliance on Mental Illness, NAMI on self abandonment
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