I think because I have a crumb of self awareness left I didn’t say this when we were recording just to Molly afterwards however…I will say it here. I was standing on the subway platform at 34th street and was feeling cautiously optimistic that I wasn’t deluding myself to continue the podcast or completely lost in my life when I got Molly’s reply that she would love to be a guest. Not me promptly bursting into tears and feeling like an email was a sign from God! But alas we don’t get to choose when we’re ripe for picking for a moment that will affirm us.
It felt like proof all was not lost and somehow things would figure themselves out. I didn’t know I needed it but was very grateful to receive it. Very appropriate, because Molly definitely knows a thing or two about figuring some things out. She’s gently wise and incredibly generous and I highly recommend reading her book The Fixed Stars (especially you Kate). It’s 1. just really well written and fascinating 2. A beautiful representation and guide of what being true to yourself means.
I def wanted to roll around in the brain that wrote it.
Being true to yourself sounds sexy but it isn’t always, The Fixed Stars illuminates what the practice of it is. It’s meeting information you didn’t know about yourself and sitting with it, processing it, and then deciding what next. It’s doing all of that while trying not to be a total goblin or set fire to your entire life.
Easy to theorize we will meet moments of truth with expansion but often we don’t. We go where the stories feel safe. How to be with yourself when that feels hard and potentially explosive to your current existence? Big question and my hunch was Molly had some answers and she did!
If it feels hard to ask what kind of life do I want? I get it! I’m like you and have to keep remembering we get to decide and can change our minds at any time but have to keep coming back to the question. Molly and I commiserate on this and our desire to just Tove Jansson it up and just swim in the sea with flower crowns on.
May we all find whatever it is we’re seeking, and enjoy the process in the meantime. Less life blowing up, more summers in the sea or something like that.
xx. A
Molly’s podcast Spilled Milk is very fun this episode with Jon Gabrus is a romp, and the Tajin episode made me laugh.
I forgot to tell Molly how many times I have made this recipe of hers but I am pretty sure she was already convinced of my super fandom so I could miss one thing.
Molly’s substack is also very good and when she throws a question out to the crowd the comment section gets very fun. I also now associate David Byrne with Molly and want to send her anything associated with him.
I made Lily’s beef for my neighbor and I and she texted me holy shit this beef! You gotta join her patreon to get the recipe and it is 1000% worth it.
Molly mentions at the end of the episode taking a workshop with Melissa Febos and little did I know how much that would kick off her work following me around this month. Kate, who’s Lyric Essay class I am taking right now and LOVING, referenced this essay with Melissa that felt very related to topics of trusting oneself, memory and the importance of telling your story.
Watched Love, Lizzo and my gawwwwwd talk about being willing to tell your own story. I hope Lizzo gets everything she desires in this life and more.
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