I don’t get arrogance. I really don’t. It’s so easy for it to be proven false, and it generally doesn’t lead anywhere good.I don’t get the appeal. However, something I have become aware of more recently is while I feel confident in my abilities to perceive arrogance at a distance, (online, an acquaintance, TV characters) I am terrible when it’s someone really in my midst.
After some relationship shake ups and endings I was caught off guard when several times when relaying to a friend, my mom or therapist the response was some version of “you’re better off I always thought they were very arrogant.” I hesitate to believe things when the response feels like a convenient cliche. Oh they’re jealous of you! Are they are should I do some deeper inquiry? They’re arrogant! Are they or is something else afoot?
I don’t really have any answers besides I often mistake arrogance for confidence and there’s something about the rigidity and blinding power of arrogance at times I am attracted to. What’s that like to be so sure you are superior to others? What’s it like to be only in service of your “rightness”? My interior world is far more certain I am superior to nothing and no one and pretty much everything is debatable on this earthly plane. I pray to different altars.
Leaning into arrogance as a way to cope with the uncertainty of life seems appealing in the short run. Need a cloak of confidence try arrogance! But it also inevitably becomes a trap yoking someone to ignorance and isolation. Pretty big price to pay for some fleeting “rightness”. It also seems like a real way to broadcast your insecurities and I much prefer to keep my close to my chest thank you very much #crablife. It fascinates me because it’s something I have a harder time accessing within myself and I wonder why. It’s something that at times I am both in awe of, very amused by and utterly grossed out. Arrogance has range bay-beeee! We all have arrogance, narcissism and delusion within ourselves. We all need a certain amount to do anything in this life. Deep down I wonder if we didn’t think on some level that we possess secret little answers to something nobody else does would we get up in the morning?
Tell me your arrogant tales, what have you been arrogant about, what do you think about arrogance, do you think about it as much as I do? Do you feel capable of ID’ing it in your life and out in the wild? You can also leave me a voicemail here.
xx. A
What I’ve been into lately:
Truly one of the funniest podcasts I have listened to in a minute
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Reading Allie Rowbottom’s Jell-o Girls and enjoying it
I would never pretend telling you about tajín was earth shattering BUT did you know there’s a low sodium version? Because this thirsty gal loves that there’s a less salty version I can use with wild abandon.
Rewatching Insecure, and The Americans
My mom loves Alex Polizzi a Brit who is the star and host of shows like The Hotel Inspector but she REALLY hooked me with this series about her starting a hotel with her mom (can you imagine?) and her travels in Italy.
As far as mochi goes this is an abomination HOWEVER I love it and since I still can’t eat a ton and s’mores are way off in the distance for me I shall proudly claim my love for them.
I love Kate Devine’s writing classes and have been in them for I dunno close to a year now but loved this about perhaps’ing into creativity which she shared in our last (sob) class.
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Ep. 82 Arrogance Minisode