Are you fluent in your love language?
There's a million ways we love without saying it
“I loved to cook, so I cooked. And then the cooking became a way of saying I love you. And then the cooking became the easy way of saying I love you. And then the cooking became the only way of saying I love you. I was so busy perfecting the peach pie that I wasn’t paying attention. I had never been able to imagine an alternative”
― Nora Ephron, Heartburn
Oh love! Do you remember the first time you realized someone didn’t love the same way you do? It’s a wild realization. How is it we can love someone so much and yet have no clue what feels like love to them?
How can we be ourselves and have no clue what feels like a demonstration of love to us? Or how we want to offer it? It can’t all be our parents fault.
Love is unable to be truly defined or explained which gives us more art and culture than we could ever get through in a million lifetimes, how could it not have its own language?
Do we need tons of empathy in order to truly love? To step out of our own experience (and ego) and say what do they need? How do I extend the same to myself?
Takes a lot of courage to really trust people and love them the way they’re asking to be loved. It’s not a trick. It’s maybe what the gig of loving people and ourselves is. Not always what we think 99.9% of the time what we feel.
Maybe all the answers are in the 1992 hit book, The 5 Love Languages. We didn’t read the book but we did take the quiz and get into it in Ep. 36 Love Languages.
xoxo,
A+N
We did something a little different this week. Take the love language quiz, find out yours and then read your card, the question asked was:
What energy best supports me in my relationships right now?
Of course there’s a playlist for while you read.
1. Words of Affirmation | Death
Perhaps we are looking for our loved one to assure us that it's ok for some part of our life to come to a close. Death is ultimately about transformation and a closing of a cycle of some sort; physically, emotionally, spiritually. Is there something or someone you are having trouble releasing? Be kind and tell yourself what you need to hear, then continue to communicate what you need / seek support from loved ones as well. Major transitions are never easy. Lean in to your people.
2. Acts of Service | Knight of Cups Reversed
Are you feeling a bit discouraged or out of touch with how things really are versus how you wish they were? Are you hoping or wanting your loved ones to show up for you without you having to ask? Is there a way to express yourself more clearly to them without explicitly giving directions/making it feel like a chore for you? Maybe something like "Hey _ , I am feeling a little lost, can you help me with this task? Or can you watch the kids while I go to a class or on a walk?" It's very likely that your loved ones are ready to show up for you, whether its biological family or the amazing chosen kind. Express your emotions and let people show up for you.
3. Receiving Gifts | Queen of Cups Reversed
Receiving gifts is wonderful and there is zero shame in that, it is however important to notice when we might be repressing something that can't be healed with material items. It is ok to not be ok, perhaps the seas feel a bit stormy right now emotionally and you are in need of a different kind of gift. One you give to yourself, a little retreat or a beautiful journal to write your feelings in. Something that moves you so you can MOVE whatever feels stuck or overwhelming. You are strong and you are also soft, learning to let them live in harmony will serve you and your relationships well right now.
4. Quality Time | 10 of cups Reversed
There is no such thing as the perfect family, the perfect life, the perfect anything. If you feel like there is something in the way of you feeling the fullness and contentment that comes with this card, ask yourself what is bothering me? It's ok to be disappointed or hurt, maybe you and your loved ones are not on the same page, that doesn't mean you don't have a beautiful family that loves you or friends that adore you. Sometimes we have to embrace the unsteadiness / messiness of love and allow it to strengthen our bonds. The only way out is through, spend some time together, talk it out and then take a deep breath to release your troubles.
5. Physical Touch | 4 of Swords Reversed
It's easy to let ourselves get lost in our minds, they are tricky and at times we don't even realize we truly just need a break from our own shit. Perhaps the time has come for a deep, deep reset, just you and your loved one, embracing, relaxing, resting - away from it all. This does not have to be romantic, it can be a mental break with a friend, a big hug, just closeness. Whatever the case, it's important to get out of our heads right now and into our bodies, give yourself the gift of rest and then you may re-enter the world, refreshed and connected in a deeper way. Health is wealth and whatever worries are plaguing you can be remedied with some real one on one time and a huge bear hug. Keep the faith, all is not lost by any means.